


Sweet as Honey

by agoodpersonrose



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alcohol, Cocktail Tasting, David Rose Loves Patrick Brewer, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Married Life, Nicknames, Pet Names, Post-Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agoodpersonrose/pseuds/agoodpersonrose
Summary: In their married life, the discussion of pet names suddenly becomes necessary.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 16
Kudos: 233





	Sweet as Honey

Patrick is full of great ideas for marital bonding sessions, and couple’s nights out, but even he has to admit that the evening at Elm Valley’s finest cocktail bar is inspired. He hasn’t seen David so excited in months, as they get into their nicest suits (Patrick’s nicest, one of David’s many) and prepare for a night out together, testing different drinks combinations in a small reclusive tasting session.

The evening is planned like this; it’s a couple’s event, wherein tables of eight are set up around the room. Each table has a different type of cocktail; sweet, heavy, sour, themed, and the various couples will move around the room together, getting to know the people they are sharing a table with and generally getting a feel for the place.

It’s their third table, the sweet cocktails, when Patrick needs the toilet. He silently stands from the table, brushing a teasing hand along David’s shoulders as he heads for the men’s bathroom, leaving David alone to communicate with the other couples.

David, ever the socialite, strikes up a conversation with a lone man whose wife had disappeared to loiter at the strong alcohol table trying to bag more free samples.

“You know what women are like.” The man, Gary, says, to which David just smiles politely and shakes his head. “So, what do you do?”

“Me and my partner own a store together. It’s a kind of branded store where local craftspeople can sell their goods all in one place year-round and make good profit on them.”

“--and you run this store with your partner? That’s commitment alright.”

“Funnily enough, we’ve never found an issue with it.”

Patrick re-joins the table, sparing a fond look at David, and takes a sip of his drink, pulling a distasteful face after the first swallow.

“What are those women like?” Gary asks as he watches Patrick sit down. “All disappeared off to the other tables. You know, my wife spent hours convincing me to come to this couple’s drinks testing and then disappears at the first sign of strong alcohol.”

Patrick frowns but shrugs politely, clearly thinking he’s missed something in the conversation, but David just frowns at him.

“Ugh.” Patrick says as he takes another sip of his drink. “Do you want this, it’s way too sweet?” He asks David, handing the glass over.

“Mm, sure, thanks honey.”

“Oh, um, who are you talking to?” Gary asks, looking around as if searching for someone behind Patrick who David might possibly be referring to.

Patrick blinks in surprise as David frowns at the man across from them.

“Me?” Patrick says, pointing to himself as if it should be obvious. “I’m honey.”

“You’re- Oh! I didn’t realise. I thought you were talking to your wife.”

David’s eyebrows twitch as his smile turns from genuine to forced. “No.” He says, his voice thick with fake amusement. “Believe it or not, I do not have a wife.”

Gary’s laugh is loud and grating, and Patrick has to resist the automatic wince at the sound.

“That is so funny, you see it’s just that I call my wife honey all the time! Keeps her sweet, you know what I mean?”

This time he’s looking at Patrick who just shakes his head, making clear that he will not be taking part in whatever joke the man is trying to make.

“That is funny, but I’m afraid Patrick also wouldn’t know because he also doesn’t have a wife.”

David is rubbing a nervous pattern into Patrick’s back with his fingers, making clear his discomfort, and Patrick leans into the touch slightly, hoping his husband will gain some security from it.

He chuckles lightly and gestures between himself and David. “You see, we’re married to each other. So, you know, he calls me honey.”

Gary freezes, looking shocked. “Oh, wow, well then.” He starts. “I hope I’ve not offended you by calling you the wife!”

“Why would that be offensive?” David asks, teeth gritted together in annoyance, and Patrick knows his husband well enough by now to know that this conversation will not be getting any better.

“Okay, we were actually thinking of moving on to the themed cocktail station, I don’t really like these sweet ones, so. We’re going to go that way.” He pulls David up out of his chair and takes his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, _honey.”_ The man tries to joke, causing Patrick’s hairs to stand on end in disgust.

“Nope, just Patrick is fine, thanks. Don’t call me that.” He says, as David starts pushing at his shoulders in impatience, nervous about his husband causing a scene.

“Okay, bye- have a good evening.” David says over his shoulder as they make their leave.

It’s not until they are away from the table that they realise the bell hasn’t rung yet, and so there is no room at any of the tables for them to join. Patrick doesn’t seem to mind though as he leads David to the corner of the room closest to their next table, wrapping an arm around his waist as they stand and wait.

_“Wo-ow.”_ David croons, smirking slightly as his husband clings to him from the side. “You know, living where we do, I sometimes forget how- how like that people can be.”

“Are we not obvious enough?” Patrick mutters, seeming more upset by all this than David is. “I mean, you literally called me honey in front of him and he still didn’t get it.”

“I actually think the honey thing is what confused him.”

Patrick hums and presses a kiss to David’s neck absentmindedly, untangling himself as the bell rings and pulling him towards the next table. Thankfully they are in a much nicer group this time, and the rest of the evening goes on without a hitch.

They leave a little after midnight, wandering down the street hand-in-hand on the way to their hotel.

“You know, I’m glad that we got a hotel room.” David slurs, slightly more affected by the alcohol than he had intended on being. “But it does make me miss our little cottage.”

“Just think, baby, at least we won’t have to change our own sheets.”

Patrick frowns as David stops walking and looks at him strangely.

“What?”

“Why did you just call me _baby?”_ David asks, smirking slightly as if he already knows the answer. “You only call me that when I’m being dramatic about something or when I’m sucking your--”

“Okay, maybe don’t finish that sentence in the street.” Patrick interrupts, pulling them to keep on walking.

“Is this foreplay? Are you trying to get me all hot and bothered? Like, reverse psychology.”

“I don’t think that is what reverse psychology is, David.” Patrick laughs as their arms swing between them.

“Mm, that’s better.”

“What is?” Patrick asks, raising one eyebrow as he looks at his husband.

“I like it when you call me that.”

“What, David?”

“Mhm.” His eyes are closed, and his head tipped back as if enjoying something delicious. “Yes, just like that. It’s so good.”

“What is happening here?” Patrick asks, unable to hold in a laugh at David’s antics. “You like it when I call you David? It’s just your name.”

“Not the way you say it, honey. You say it different.”

Patrick rolls his eyes and lets it go. “Okay, David.”

“Mr Brewer, now you’re trying to turn me on.” David growls, pulling Patrick against him so that he can wrap an arm around his shoulder and start to bite at his ear. “We should get to the hotel room, don’t you think?”

Patrick just nods mutely and quickens their pace.

***

The hotel room is predictably nice enough, and they spend a lovely evening (and then morning) together, in the luxury of the fact that they don’t have to cook or clean for the time that they’re there.

On the road back to Schitt’s Creek, Patrick tries it again.

“What do you want for dinner, sweetheart?” He asks, one hand on the steering wheel, the other lightly brushing David’s knee. “Do we need to stop at the supermarket to pick something up?”

He turns his face to see David pulling a disgusted expression.

“You don’t like that one, huh?”

“That’s what my Dad calls my Mom.” He says, his nose still upturned.

“Okay. So that one was a hit and a miss. But you have to admit that you liked baby last night.”

“Mm, I did.” David agrees, closing his eyes and smiling lightly at his husband. “You can’t go around calling me that in front of people though, it’s an aphrodisiac now, I’d be arrested for indecency.”

“Good to know.”

They do end up going to the supermarket, and in the vegetable section, Patrick holds up a cabbage with a questioning look.

“What about I make some of that spicy cabbage you like, my dear?”

“Ew, what are we, ninety years old?” David asks from the other side of the display where he is carefully picking out tomatoes to place in his paper bag. “Yes, to the cabbage though, that sounds good. We need to pick up some more flour before we leave as well so that you can make bread.”

“How about we just pick up some bread, I don’t feel like making any tonight and we’ll need some for the morning.”

“That’s fine with me.” David shrugs.

“Okay darling. Let’s go.”

When David is silent, Patrick peeks around at him and shrugs.

“Not that one either?”

“Getting closer.” David says with a fond smile, taking Patrick’s proffered hand and leading them down the next aisle.

***

The next morning, Patrick wakes up David with sweet kisses as has become customary. He starts on the neck, leading his way down the chest as he straddles his husband carefully and moves the sheets out of the way.

“Too early.” David grunts, covering his eyes with his arm.

“I know my love, but we need to go and open the store.” Patrick mutters against the soft skin of his belly, smiling when David’s body begins to gain interest in his sweet administrations.

“Mm, what did you just call me?”

“Um.” Patrick blushes, realising he had let one slip without realising. “I don’t- I don’t remember that one. Did it not work again?”

“I’m not sure, say it again.” David says, pulling Patrick up and away from what he had been intending on being an exceptionally good blow job.

“My love?” Patrick tries, but unexpectedly David does have a reaction to it, smiling softly up at him, his messy hair framing his face.

“I like that.” He whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” He pauses a moment, his smile growing to something more teasing as he peers up at his husband. “Is it gay enough for you, though?”

“It might be the gayest thing I’ve ever said.” Patrick returns.

“Oh, I don’t know about that- last night you said--”

Patrick cuts him off with a kiss, not needing to hear the end of that sentence. “Time to be quiet now my love.” He mumbles against David’s lips, making him whine and keen up against him.

Patrick puts the new nickname into use any time he wants to make clear his relationship with David, and while there is still the occasional confused individual, looking around for a wife or girlfriend, the flushed happy look on David’s face when he says it makes it worth it every single time.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a small ficlet I've been playing with in my breaks from work. Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought! 🍯


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